Biznitch Mumma.

I think the hardest thing about running a business is making sure you don't loose yourself in it. As in, your identity doesn't become "Claire who runs *****" or "oh yes that's the person who is in charge of *****".

I also think this is the case of becoming a mum. I have one friend who had no intention of that happening when she started running her own business last year. She's a business women, a new mum and a total Biznitch babe. She's also none of these things, and just Fay.

 Don't even make me look at the camera.

Don't even make me look at the camera.

Ladies and gentlemen, please be standing for the honourable Lady Fay Austin. This here lady legs is probably the most talented person I know. And when I say talented, I mean ridiculously good (looking) at everything she lends her witchy little hands too. All she has to do is decide. "Today i'm going to have a go at making a paper mache replica faberge egg, which will be delicately painted with the soul of the owner, and when opened will sing a song i've written and recorded just for them". And that's just an average Monday.

  A small summary of all the things Fay is really good at:

  • Songwriting
  • Drawing
  • Teaching and inspiring young people
  • Writing
  • Being mindful over little things to make them so special
  • Cooking
  • Baking
  • Crafting
  • Dancing
  • Singing
  • Maybe acting
  • Being sexy
  • Home decor

When we were in our early 20s, we both ruined a Indian box ready meal in the oven. So not all of the above have come naturally.

The biggest thing I admire about Fay is her ability to know what she needs and be very strong about it. I think for a lot of us mere mortals, who do not posses this, and we just say yes yes YES because we think we have to. To the point where your life is miserable and you are doing things that you don't want to do, just because you feel you have to or are good at it. Fay will say no. And it's such a fucking valid no. 

Fay bloody loves her life and her fucking walks and shit. And having time to do things that bring her joy.

 Here she is being stunning and pregnant. Can you handle this shit?

Here she is being stunning and pregnant. Can you handle this shit?

 Who told me to waste my life being so straight laced.

Who told me to waste my life being so straight laced.

When I met Fay I really didn't like her. Me and Biznitch Betts were like "errrrr she's really full on". And then we started walking to work together each week, she really scared me and I still didn't like her. She was able to talk to insignificant me, but also hang around with really confident dancer-performer type people who I could only dream to be like. I was a people pleaser who didn't have any social confidence. In groups I felt like I said the wrong thing and people were looking at me weird like "who invited her to stand in this specific part of the room and talk to us". They weren't. That's just my baggage and stuff. She could also do the splits and i've always wanted to do the splits.

One time she said "stop fucking around and get in the corner" to a bunch of 6-18 year olds in a class and she said she actually said "stop FAFFING around and get in the corner" but I think she is lying and I still remind her of this 57 years later.

THEN I realised we were the same person. This super confident, sassy person who walked into a room and had magnet energy, was just one side of her. I still don't know if this was/is a persona, a choice, or just a different time. I don't need to decide 'cause it was also really fun having a friend like that and I felt so proud knowing that centre of attention was my friend. It's also not really any of my business. But being the same person meant we were both really nerdy, liked things organised, really interested in home decor and buying nice clothes. We became obsessed with youtube videos before youtube videos were a thing, and constantly spoke in a language that was "wouldn't it be funny if...".

When I was at drama school, she started up a sketch show and I was insanely jealous of it's brilliance. Here it is, it's still funny and relevant. This is my favourite one because she is hot and is playing an object of affection but is still a bad-ass #feminism.......? 

I'm very aware I haven't touched on "what a brilliant mum Fay is" or "how she runs her business so fantastically it makes everyone question their very existnece". But that does't work with Fay. She isn't defined by any of those things. One time I called her poncy because everything she does is ridiculous and amazing and Pinterest. She made a whole Halloween 3 course dinner for her husband, complete with detailed menu, and I felt like an awful girlfriend wife. Anyway, once again i'm changing lives because she now has her Instagram handle as Poncy Pantry which was all me. She has over a 1,000 followers so she's a pretty big deal ALL BECAUSE OF ME.

So I guess the title of this blog is pretty defunct. I wanted it to be a nod to the thing that she was always born to do. I've never met anyone who wanted to be a mummy so much and when you see her be a mummy, know it's in her blood, it runs through her veins and tingles in her skin. And I know despite me saying these labels don't define her, she'll want "mum" to be her biggest starring role she's ever done. It's also a little shout out to all the mamas out there to say that you can still be you, and Fay is every proof of that.

She's the ponciest twat i've ever met. But she's my poncy twat doing her poncy things which if she didn't do, life as I know it would not be the poncy same.

Claire StainerComment